Monday, November 18, 2013

Mommy Guilt: Can you relate?

Let's face it...we have all been in that moment ( or at least, I hope I'm not the only one) where we find ourselves checking our phone or computer and our kids ask for something....and without looking up, we say, "In just a minute..." and that minute turns into 5....or 10...and our children will either ask us again (multiple times) or just walk away.

I have spent the last month doing some serious soul searching. You may have noticed I have slowed down on my blogging and taken a step back from creating as many new products. There is a reason....

MOMMY GUILT.....

There was one day when I was working over my laptop and really trying to finish up a blog post. My kids were both asking for me to go outside with them and instead of closing my computer and finishing that post later, I kept working and kept telling them "in a minute...Mommy's working." About 15 minutes went by and I heard my 2 year old ask his bigger sister where Mommy was...and her answer broke my heart. She said, "She's just working on her computer. Don't bother her."

Ok, let me pause right now to tell you that I will ALWAYS put my children first....and I love them with all my heart. However, my actions recently have gone directly against this. I had become so involved in "growing" my blog and creating products for TpT that I was beginning to spend all of my extra time working on those two things...and not spending time with the two most precious little ones in my life.

As a Mom, I know I put a lot of guilt on myself. I want to be the best Mommy, Wife, Teacher, Friend, Blogger....you name it. And, when I fall out of balance with any of these, my Mommy Guilt goes through the roof. Now...part of me feels like this is my heart's way of showing me that I am spreading too thin, and part of me wonders if I am putting too much guilt on myself. Does my husband ever feel this same guilt? I wonder that often, and honestly, I have to say...I'm not sure. I've always been told that women, in general, put more pressure on themselves than men do when it comes to being the best parent....What do you think? 

I put this question to Google and Pinterest...and you know what I found out in my search? There are a hell of a lot of Moms out there who feel JUST LIKE ME. 

So....after a few days of really thinking on this....what did I do?

Well, I put my computer down...I put my phone down....and I spent a few extra minutes each day with my children. I gave myself a break from distractions and let my kids become my own distractions from work and blogging and Tpt. Did I miss blogging? Absolutely. Did I enjoy the extra time with my kids? Undoubtedly. Will I stop blogging? No way! 

See, as much as I found out I need to spend more time with my children, I also realized that blogging and TpT are my hobbies. As a working Mom I feel like my time is stretched thin and filled with things that are "musts" and "jobs"....I need this outlet. My kids need me to have this outlet. My husband needs me to have this outlet. 

However, my new goal is to find more BALANCE. Instead of working on my computer after school, I'll play with my children. When they are in bed, I can spend time on my computer. If they are napping, I can work on my blog. I will find a way to make it work...because I have discovered, I want BOTH. 


Who can relate to this? I know I'm not alone...right?



19 comments:

  1. Ahhh the joy of motherhood. But it's all in the revelation, isn't it. Revelation always brings about change. :) Keep doing what you do and enjoy your children. They are after all only small for such a small time. And thank them for me for giving us some of mommy's time.

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    1. Awwww, so sweet Kenya. Thank you for this comment. :) It makes my heart happy to know that what I'm sharing helps other teachers and Mommies. I appreciate you!

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  2. What an AWESOME blog post! Thank-you for your honesty. I think you are totally right - so much of life is all about balance. I hope you continue to enjoy your kiddos - you won't regret spending too much time with them. But, I appreciate how you recognize your need for an outlet, like blogging and TPT. You are very wise, Marie :)

    ~Jessica
    Joy in the Journey

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    1. Thank you so much...I honestly LOVE my time I spend getting to know so many amazing other teachers and bloggers...I don't think I could give that up. It's all about the balance now!

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  3. I can relate. I constantly feel like this. With all these social media things to keep up with to keep the "business" going, it is easy to get lost and forget what's really important. Our babies will only be babies for a while, and no matter how many products we finish or sell in the end, those accomplishments can't measure up next to memories. Thank you for writing this, it's important for all of us to know we aren't alone in feeling like this.

    Teaching in the Tongass

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    1. Thank you for that! It is helpful to hear that I'm not in it alone.

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  4. You said it perfectly! As mommies we always put others first and it's hard to find that balance you speak of! :) I'm glad you decided to find that balance. You're a good mom for taking time for your kids AND what you love!

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  5. Thank you for such an honest post! I experience that "mommy guilt" everyday! I often wondered if I was the only one who dealt with it. Like you, I really NEED to balance all of the pots that I have on the burner. Kuddos to you for taking a stand! Enjoy your time with your sweet children!

    Karen
    An Apple a Day in First Grade

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    1. Thank you so much....I think it helps to know we are not alone...

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  6. You hit the nail on the head…. That mommy guilt is always there for me - especially since I am a single mom….I want to make new things for tpt and blog… but at the same time - I have an 8 yro and a 4 yro. I am trying to make a conscious effort pay more attention to my kids and save the blogging and creating for after they are in bed… we will see how this works out! :) Thank you for your post <3

    …andtheyallfalldown...

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    1. Tara, I know it has to be hard on you being a single mom...honestly, with the amount my husband travels lately, sometimes I feel like a single mom. I have complete respect for all the single mamas out there!

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  7. Well said Marie! I have always battled with this. I remember I took a year off from teaching to stay home with them because of Mommy guilt and realized I am a better Mommy when I am teaching. I love my boys with all my heart and often fall out of balance. Kudos to you for being aware and taking action!

    Tammy
    The Resourceful Apple

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    1. Tammy, there was a time when I thought that I'd like to stay home to spend more time with them, but like you, I know that I love what I do too much to stop...

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  8. You are not alone! I think I'll check my email or catch up on Facebook or just pin a few items ... before I know it minutes or even hours have passed. A few years ago I gave up Cafe World for this very reason. I'm now at a new crossraod. I won't give up FB, Pinterest, or email entirely. Seriously, my kids love some of the stuff I find on Pinterest. But I've been feeling an inner groaning to restore balance to my life. All things in moderation!

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  9. I have so much Mommy, daughter, sibling, teacher guilt it is just crazy. Somedays I feel as if I don't do justice to any of them. I am the incredibly lucky mom to my two daughters, who are my heart. It is tuff as a single parent, I also help care for my Mom who is in a nursing home and my Dad lives with me. I think balance is key but for me, oh so hard to achieve!

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  10. I can totally relate. I have a three-year-old and one-year-old at home. My three-year-old is keenly aware of my computer habit. I feel like a failure as a mom, sometimes, and this is totally not the kind of mother I wanted to be. My own mother was a working mother and I wanted to be the opposite. Our life didn't work out where I could stay at home, so I work. But, I need to remember the balance, too. I deliberately plan activities (sometimes) where we all go out to have fun at a park or with an activity. I have to intentionally be present in their lives. It's definitely worth it!

    What I Have Learned

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  11. Thank you for your post. I have, too, tried to grow the blog plus added TPT to my job list this summer. It is overwhelming--the balance of life. It is nice to read that others struggle. Sometimes it is easy to forget that we do ALL struggle with this. Thank you.

    Em
    Curious Firsties

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  12. Great post!!! Thanks for sharing!!

    Jamie

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I love reading your comments! :)

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